dont you mean W.O.W. as in world of warcraft?

i have purple hands right now, and everytime i see them they make me smile. :D <-- like that. and i ***reeeeeally*** want to dye my hair like haleys from paramore in this video next. i know its kinda that color now... but i want it a darker... but brighter red... when im not in the sun too. that doesnt even make sense. lol.

Paramore - New Music - More Music Videos

i'm really excited about "the house next door"... and it makes me sad that we dont know 6 people. and that i have other obligations that could cause me to actually not be able to move out. annnnd. i so dont want to go to work tomorrow. i wish i could switch with someone and work in the morning because i *really* dont want things to be awkward. i am dreading the hours between 4 and 6. :[ epic fail on my part.

working working working....

today i have spent the entire day working. my fingers hurt. its so different working at home compared to not at home. time goes by so much faster... and i am often in more pain at home lol.. not really but my fingers hurt right now.

this is a short post. especially compared to last time. lol.

amber and i applied to get this amazing apartment in rossmoor. there is an insane like 5 inch binder full of people waiting to get into this apartment building. and since we know someone who lives there we were made "next" on the list. totally insane! well there was one person ahead of us... and then we were next. amber got a phone call today about it. we basically have an apartment. but we're going to turn it down. we still want to be on the list... but moving is temporarily on hold. until we can buy a couch.

almost 6 years....

with moving comes packing. and with packing comes memories.

ive been reading old notes, that said we'd be best friends forever, looking through old yearbooks and thanking God im not in high school anymore!! and laughing over old so many old plus one psycho biographys and quizzes and i can't help but see that life is so different from when i was 14. so different.

in the last few hours ive been been thinking that life would be so much eaiser if i was 14 again. no work, constant concerts, volunteering!, always having time for friends, no grown up decisions, and so many other things that i miss! but even though i'm not content and more confused than ever with my life now, at least i have grown past my self loathing and parental drama. lol. its just sometimes, i wish that one day it would get eaiser.

thats all i'm really good for tonight. i am ill and now full of dust and in need of an overdose of nyquil so i can go to sleep now and wake up at a normal hour tomorrow.

and the scoop is i dropped out of community college and will be starting at the academy of art in the summer... unless i get scared and then ill go back to cypress college in the fall.

eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

so, today has been a rather exciting day!

first of all, i built basically the best newspaper wall ever today. but no one else wants to come take pictures and it makes me sad. i want to bribe people... but i think thats crossing a line. =/

secondly, this will be arriving at my house in the next few weeks. hopefully sooner than week"s" days would be better!

thirdly, we found the most amazing house today! =] im praying praying praying that we get it! its 4 bdrms! meaning stacey could move in and i could move out. yay.

so today was a good day.

back to back posting!

today i got off of work and had no where to go! it was the first night i have been home [aka not in SD] and i didnt have to go to school! but alas it was the last night because school starts next week. so after work i stopped by teacher supplies because heather had asked me to bring her something. and i hung out there for an hourish.

then i get home and my dad says do you want to sit down for the bad news? and im thinking sad! we cant get DVR! =[ because i have been bugging him about it lately. and then he goes on to tell me we have to be out of our house by march 1st. because our landlords want to fix up the house so they can double the rent. and let me tell you our house is a piece of crap it has holes all up in the roof which cause leaks thru many light fixtures [scary!] and the bathtub leaks into the wall in our dining room so you can see a hole forming... there is no insilation basically in the whole house so it is always freezing cold and the list goes on and on.

so i have a few thoughts on the situation.

1. i think the situation is kinda crappy because i dont want my parents to be stressed out. i know money is tight and moving = paying more rent which = less money and we have just recently gotten into a situation where we arent constantly broke. so that makes me sad.

2. its also kind of good because one of my moms family members randomly has an empty house on oak st. in lomita which could actually potentially have 4 bedrooms. we've tried looking into renting it before but my gma wasnt overly helpful in getting information on who we should talk to but now in this dramatic situation she got us a phone number of someone to call.

3a. its also kind of good because my dad was wanting to look for a 4 bedroom house because he is going to ask shanna and i to pay rent [which i totally dont mind] so that we can all have our own rooms. but since i was already planning on moving out in march this is kind of like ok now i really am moving out because that means he can look for a 3 bdrm house which is less money. it just means i really am moving out.

3b. lets explore that for a second. me moving out. exciting. scary. exciting. scary. fun. =] amber and i have been discussing long beach because its cheap? no matter where you are in long beach you are convienant to a freeway which means i can still get to the library quickly, probably faster than i can on side streets from lomita, because i dont want to quit the library i love it there. and then its not super far from church. but again the freeway is convienant and church is right off the freeway. i heart the freeway. also san pedro is across the bridge from long beach... so bible study will not be difficult. and i can also take the freeway to school and i will be closer to school in long beach than lomita. but again long beach is only if the house/apartment by nickys house doenst work out because san pedro is also convienant to the freeway and basically a happy medium between our works [mine in manhattan beach ambers in long beach] church is off the freeway... disneyland is a little farther... lol. ::sigh!:: that was alot.

4. and then there is always the "i am SO ready to move out"... independent me but there is also the "really? can i do this??" scared me. and then im scared for my family because i love them and i want everything to work out for the best even if i'm not living with them anymore. and i know that my mom overstresses about things and my dad internalizes things [like me!] and i dont want this to cause unneeded stress and relational problems between everyone... we've just barely started to all get along!

5. its all just so complicated but a little [only a little!] exciting at the same time.

6. i know that everyone who reads this already knows about the whole situation and i can already trust that you are praying for peace and discernment and boxes =] but i cant help but ask again. and thank you for being the amazingly wonderful friends that i have and love.

[nicky on the radio] jason please dont kill me....

so, tomorrow i have opened the house for anyone who wants to come over and take pics with my newspaper wall, im suuuuuper excited! i just hope lots and lots of people come! so far i have a yes from 8 people. =] YAY!

but before anyone can come over, i need to clean the house because its dirty. and let me tell you it brings me such HARDCORE desires to move out! none of the crap around my house belongs to me, except the stuff in my room. and the house if filthy! i cannot wait until i have my own house that i can keep clean... or at least when i clean it i know there will be a place for everything. and i wont have to "box" everything for people to sort thru later. i sound really angry as im writing this... but really im just frustrated to the point of tears. urrrrg.

away from my frustrations HAPPY NEW YEAR! i went to the best party every last night. it was amazazing. i love to laugh. and i laughed alot.

numero uno

i dont know if i will actually continually post on this blog. i want to blog somewhere... but i feel very vulnerable that i cannot figure out how to make my blogs completely private [if i so choose to later in life]

i have to work really early tomorrow... not really early but 8:30 early.. meaning leaving the house at 7:30ish... at least its only 4 hours. =D

my dad is making me laugh by informing me about the expenses of moving out. about how you have to pay first and last.. duh. and a deposit.... duh... and that you'll have to pay utilities.... hhhhaaaaa. i love my daddy. =] hes also very concerned about my wireless internet needs. so am i. lol. because lets face it i cannot live without my interent.

this past weekend i bought veronica mars season 1 on dvd for $14.99 at target. its amazing and it makes me so very happy.